England 2010: Part 2

Monday, May 17, 2010


Villequier to Jumieges:

Not much of a ride today as we are busy seeing the country side and just enjoying ourselves. We know there is no making Rouen today and there is no campground listed between here and there. So we decide to spend the night here, get up early and make the run to Rouen. We talk about the two ways to get to Rouen the first uphill, a long, long hill or second follow the Seine which will take an extra day. We sleep on it but first a ride down hill to the campground. There is an old abbey in town which we elect to walk around.

Now it is time to eat and we find this little café/grocery store which looks promising. The shop keep tells us there is no hot food available. But wait she rummages around and comes up with the most wonder meal. She is dressed in a beige skirt with a needle point vest to match she reminds me of Aunt Bea on the Andy Griffiths show.

I’m not very talkative and wonder why it seems there is nothing to talk about. I also find myself being very moody, must have my period, or is it the medication to reduce hormones? We stop and look a cemetery for about an hour talking about the graves and church. At the campground it time to settle in for the night. Mark has rented an adapter we can use to charge our computer. After a snack and a little typing on the computer it’s off to bed.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Jumieges to Rouen:

Up early, cook breakfast, pack up and hit the road to Rouen. We reach Saint-Martin-de-Boscherville were we need to decide which route to talk. Mark opts for up and over to get to Rouen and we begin the climb up. I did this hill the last time and ended up walking the whole thing. This time I make it to the top riding but, find no exaltation in the event. Mark has to walk like I did and pats me on the back he seems to be more excited them I am. As we coast down to Rouen I wonder why could it really the medication? We travel through Rouen in order to get to the other side. I’m irritated with myself because I see the way in my head but can’t find it.

I get my bearing and we arrive at the campground in Saint-Ledger-Du-Bourg-Denis a small village on the out skirts of Rouen. After setting up camp we walk down into the small town with Mark is delighted with. It has a bakery, butcher, café, florist, and small grocery store. We visit the butcher, baker, but not the candle stick maker instead we opt for the grocery store. We have picked up dinner and breakfast and will just hang out at the campground tonight.

Wednesday May 19, 2010

Rouen:

We site see around Rouen for sometime then Mark wants to find a WiFi café. About ten minutes later we are in this café that serves only hamburgers and chili oh yeah! A gentleman from the U. S. greet us and proceeds to talk our ear off: his name is Steve. I’m irritated that I’m in France and have to eat make-believe American food. We are told that if we order a meal the internet will be free. I should have seen this coming. Mark orders chicken fingers that look like pencils with bread on them. I order a chicken burger, or was it a veggie burger, while Mark goes for the good old fashion beef kind.

Steve finally, thankfully, has to leave for an appointment. We ask for the code to the internet and neither of us can get a signal. I’m pissed, Mark get a free sign on upstairs on the café computers. I’m noticing all the, what I consider, unhealthy food he eats, I eat healthy and get to deal with cancer, can’t lose weight and he just stays the same. I find myself being very angry with him. We ride to the train station which I can’t find and am getting angrier by the minute.

Finally he asks someone where it is and we find out it is right around the corner from where we are standing. We get prices for our trip to Calais and begin to leave the station. Now we decide to stay and extra day and go to Paris before we leave. We head back to the campground, take a little side trip to the butcher where Mark picks up a stake for the morning. I talk little as I eat salad, chicken, and green beans. I’m wondering why I am this angry as the day was not that bad.

It can’t be the cancer working on my subconscious? I have to make this decision which does not guarantee life, it only guarantees being free from Prostate cancer. I get to possibly lose the capability to have sex again, but I’ll be cancer free. I can continue to eat “healthy” yet with no idea whether or not it will keep cancer at bay; so far it has not. I’m trying to keep a positive outlook, but it is hard to do as I want desperately not to have to make this decision at all. I want my body to stop betraying me, but it may again.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Paris:

Today we decided to spend an extra day in Rouen and take the train to Paris. It is a 1 ½ hour ride through very scenic French country side. After arriving in Paris we head across town to the International station where I hope to pick up a train to Graz. Mark has the map and will guide us to our destination. We arrive at the wrong station, but no problem the correct one is only a few blocks away.

Found out that there is a train from Paris to Graz which I really wanted to get on, however I’d have to stay here until Tuesday because it is a bank holiday this weekend. It would cost 117 Euros one way than another 117 back which is about what I paid for air fare last year. Next year I may just take the sleeper car and see what it is like, however I’d miss seeing a lot of French country side until Munich. That is where I’d change trains to head to Graz. My bike would be with me not sure where, but I was informed all that was needed was to remove the front wheel The train was an overnight and I’d have gotten to sleep in a bunk which would have been an new experience.

Second time I’ve been to Paris and again unable to see any of the famed sights. Oh wait there is the Eiffel Tower in the distance. Well somewhat more than the last time. We rode through Paris as if we were locals, even managed to get into a few staring matches with cab drivers who, like in NY, thing they own the road. We were supposed to have a nice dinner in Paris, which didn’t happen, and visit some sights, which also didn’t happen. But, all in all it was a decent and informative trip.

Friday, May 21, 2010

Rouen to Calais:

Never ever believe what the internet tells you about traveling in a foreign country. First it told me there was no way to travel from Paris to Graz without it costing over $400. Not true! Then it told us there was no way to get from Rouen to Calais via train without going to Paris. Not true! Sadly you really have to get to a station and ask, or break the trip down into segments. Then you can get to where you are going inexpensively. I not once found it necessary to buy a Euro pass or any pass as they are very limiting and expensive. My experience is to buy tickets as you need them, which is much less restrictive and if you can travel on a discount pass of some kind you are better off.

We left Rouen at 12:30 pm on a local train that accommodates bikes. It was a leisurely ride 160 km ride through some magnificent French scenery takes a little over three hours. No problem getting the bike on to the train whose floor is the same height as the platform which is not always the case. We were lucky when we had to switch trains as our next train was at the same platform. There are some very old French train cars looking like something from the 50’s to the newer ones hot off the assembly line. The first one we took was fairly new and had sockets to plug in your computer, phone, what not.”

The second seemed to be something from the sixties lacking air conditioning. I used the toilet and looking down saw the track beneath the train. This certainly does not say much for the environment around the station. We zip through banked cures as if we are at Indy. Fly in to a station stop dead, motors off, the conductors chat a bit then we are off. I can see the guy driving the train from where I sit. The windows are open at fresh air blows through my hair. The skies are filling with clouds that are bluish-gray with white edges. I begin to wonder if we’ll have a rough crossing from Calais to Dover.

We watch the ship we will be traveling pulling in to its berth. It is an amazing site seeing this huge ship dock. No tugs to push it into its berth, it has jets on the side shooting water out to push the thing sideways. It slowly closes in on the dock so the ramps line up perfectly while the jets hold it against the dock. Truck after truck disembarks from the bottom deck with cars and motorcycles come off the top. Now it is our turn to load and we are motioned to ride up this very steep ramp. I’m getting on my bike when I see Mark wiz by like he had a rocket attached. I’ve never seen him move so fast. He is at the top of the ramp before I even start up.

It is difficult for me to get up the ramp because I’m laughing rather hard at this sight. After parking the bikes we head up to the top deck where we secure a table with a view. Then we decide to have dinner in the dining room instead of the buffet. It is as if we are dining in a first class restaurant with all the amenities. China and crystal glassware along with spotless white table linens next to the window we eat in style. The food is nicely presented and has wonderful flavor. We finish our meal the run down to the buffet for desert. Back at the salon table we which the White Cliffs of Dover come into view. The channel is as calm as bathwater and we have enjoyed two wonderfully smooth crossings.

Once in Dover it’s off to the train station in order to get to Martin Mill our campground for the evening. After looking at the terrain Mark agrees with me that the train is the way to go. It is even make clear as the train climes a very steep hill to take us on our six minute ride. The campground is quite nice with heated bathrooms and hot, hot water to shower in. We decide that tomorrow we’ll take the train to Canterbury.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

We arrived in Canterbury this morning around 10:30 via train from Dover. After a brief walk about the town we decided to find a campground and spend the day here. After we settle into a campground not far from town I had most to the day to myself as we went our separate ways. There is a place call the Canterbury Tales which is a set of scenarios based on Chaucer’s writings. It was quite entertaining and took about ½ an hour to wander through. The after visiting an abbey, Franciscan monastery, and the Museum of Canterbury I settled in for a cup of tea. After a sip I decided that it would be nice to have something to nibble on so back to the counter to check out what was to be had.

The young lady behind the counter assure me that they did indeed have some sweet pastries and said I should go sit and she would bring them to me. In a few she arrived at the table carrying two nice looking pastries and handed them to me. Upon asking how much they were she responded “Oh they are free. They are the last two of the day and I usually give them away.” What a pleasant surprise, yet another was to come. The particular establishment had free Wi-Fi so I signed on to check email as I figured my daughter was about to strangle me for being out of touch for so long.

There was an email from the Salisbury Festival informing me that a story I had entered in their contest was to be read in the town square on May 30th. How fun was that to learn that someone was going to read my story in the middle of Salisbury. We get back together and at the campground have some nice home cooked pork burgers for dinner. It turned a bit cool more to the dampness in the air then actual being cold if that makes any sense. I get into my sleeping bag and type a bit before heading off to sleep.

England 2010: Part 1

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Preparing for my fifth trip to England! Having hoped to be able to do this once, I never imagined doing it five years in a row. It has been a very trying year filled with frustration, new challenges and health issues. New equipment has been purchased to supplement the old tried and true. The big question, again this year, will my bike still be there? One can only hope that for the fifth year my bike will have survived the winter and vandals. My bag this year consists of a new pair of panniers that will hold everything and stay under 50 lbs. At this point they weigh in at 41 lbs and need to be unpacked and packed again to make sure everything is inside. The last item that will be needed is a new Deuter backpack which I’ll purchase with my REI dividend and 20% off coupon.

This will allow me to carry on some of my stuff thus reducing the weight in the panniers. It may allow me some extra room to bring my Hobson bike seat. As tax season comes to an end the want to be riding my bike increases. My friend Mark will be coming over again this year for a three week stint. Tickets have been purchased costing more than any previous trip. Finding a ticket for under $800 was not to be this year. We will be flying a combination of Delta and KLM going through Detroit and for the first time landing in Heathrow. I’m thinking about taking the National bus to Salisbury as I’ve not done that in a few years and it costs less money. Money could be an issue this year, but I’ll not know that until the end of April.

Somewhere on one of my computers is an equipment list that I had intended to post this year. So I’ll have to have to head home and see if it can be found. I also just realized that I have not finished my posts from last year, especially the most exciting part. So maybe I’ll work on that tonight also.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Scottsdale AZ again for more doctor’s meetings, more information plus and ultrasound to see how the baby is doing. Ha-ha!

Going to be busy right up to when I leave. Teeth cleaning, getting the house ready for my being away, another test, end of season dinner with the Block gang, finals, and putting in grades for my classes. All stuffed into 11 days, however I’m packed. Everything is stuffed into two panniers and a back pack. I have less weight than last year only 41 pounds hope I’m not forgetting anything. Maybe I should repack just to make sure.

This is when the stress starts to build up! Will I forget anything, will I make the plane, and will my bags get to where I’m going and on and on. It all goes away when I get on the plane and am in the air. Then it is time to sit back and relax forget about all the stuff going on in my world and focus on the here and now. Enjoy the ride to Detroit which is the first time I’ll be landing in that airport that I can remember. Three hour layover then it’s off to England and Heathrow again a first. Prior trips have taken me to Gatwick a less hectic airport.

I’m excited to go this year as this is the first time I actually have an agenda for part of the trip. So this will be a new experience to deal with. Past trips have been willie nillie where I am there I am no plans kind of thing.

Monday, May 6, 2010

Arriving at the hospital promptly at 5:30am I’m checked in and then follow a nurse to the surgery suite. They keep saying surgery I keep saying “no surgery, Test, no surgery.” They smile “it’s just a term we use.” Not smiling I retort “I don’t like your saying!” They take pleasure in that by using the S word more than necessary. “Take off your close and put the gown on with the open facing the back.” Gee you think!

I’m sitting on the gurney and Nurse Betty comes in. All the cute young nurses are assigned to other patient’s, life us just not fare. ‘You have any valuables, money, wallet, jewelry?” Not being quick on my feet I answer in the affirmative. “I’ll get the guard to lock them up!” My wallet contains my passport which as not left my sight for three days. You’ll have to arm wrestle me to get it I think, but she looks like she could take me. “I get the guard.” Say’s she.

She comes back guard in tow along with several forms to fill out “So your stuff will be safe.” “I don’t want my stuff locked up I didn’t have to do that the last time why do I have to do it this time?” So round we go until she finally gives my “valuables” stay with me as I’m wheeled off to the “surgery.” Later I’m told that there is not reoccurrence of cancer in that area of my body.

Monday, May 10, 2010

Time to leave! Up at 5am ready to go, packed, as usual nervous about getting to the airport on time. Always worry that the road will be closed, the car break down, or some such rot. My son Kevin will take us to the airport, I’ve already woken Mark up. We will pick him up a tad earlier then he expected, but we’ll be there on time.

On the plane we end up sitting together along with seat mate Caroline who is returning from an Erikson Hypnotherapy workshop. Pleasant conversation al we sit on the runway awaiting departure. Packed flight heading to Detroit were we will connect with our plane to England. Now that we are in the plane I begin to relax allowing the world of work and illness slip to the back of my mind for now. I’ll let my unconscious dwell on the aspects of both for awhile.

Oh sitting at the airport I pull up the urologist’s telephone number and there is a like to a blog written by someone in Kingman. He was the same age, and the Doctor involved is the same as the doctor I saw in Scottsdale. The gentlemen in Kingman had the same treatment that has been prescribed for me. The doctor told me that everything would work just fine after the treatment. This fellow in Kingman writes that he is cured of cancer however the Package does not work correctly, and continues not to work after four years. I’ll do a little more checking.

We are off to England and Marks seat assignment has gone a rye. After much hassling he has, unhappily found himself in a middle seat in the middle row far from the seat he had booked. After watching a few movies it is time to get a few winks hopefully waking up in England.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Arrive at Heathrow.

After standing on long lines to get through customs I am again faced with the feeling of being home. It washes over me after stepping through the customs gate. Thank the baggage gods that our stuff arrived alone with us. Off to the bus station to pick up a ticket to Salisbury and after a three hour wait we’re on the way. The bus offers a better view of the English country side which is quite refreshing. From the bus stop in Salisbury it is a short walk to the YHA were I have started my trip from for the past five years.

After settling in at the YHA it is time to take a walk to the train station to see if the bikes have survived another year. As happened before I cannot find the bikes on the first look see. And them for the fifth year in a row my bike is waiting at the station for me. Marks bike is waiting for him also this will be his second year.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Around Salisbury

Today was spent at several stores picking up some things to get the bike ready for a nice long ride from Salisbury to Lyndhurst in the New Forest. After another trip to the Pound store the bikes are ready to go. So we take a 12 mile ride to the Upper Woodford and back. I had to stop a few times to adjust my seat which seems to be a rather precise undertaking. After several stops the thing is still not adjusted correctly, this is going to take time. (Posted 5/16/2010)

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Around Salisbury: Part II

So I talked to Liz today who told me, sadly, she will not be at the YHA next year. She is getting married and will be teaching French to school children. The place will not be the same without her lovely smile. We have dinner at the Cathedral Hotel then down to the local movie house to catch Iron Man 2. Mark is a bit taken aback by the smallness of the screens at this movie and we were in the main theater. We hung around today to catch the Village market only to find out there was none until Saturday.

After doing not much of anything it was all in all a very relaxing day. I’ve not spent a lot of time thinking about whether to have surgery or radiation when I return. Just letting it run around in the back of my head. It does come to the forefront every time I take the medication to slow the growth of the cancer. I hate taking the medication, but it is a necessary evil for now.

My daughter calls or text’s me daily as if it were local calls. Remember when you could only call with in your area or it was long distance. Well there is no more of that via cellular except when you’re out of the country. Oh well its only money. Miss my kids.

Friday, May 14, 2010

It is time for the first ride of 2010 to the New Forest then on to Portsmouth. I’ve picked a new route which looks more direct and will shave off some miles. Told Mark that it will still be more than the 10 mile limit he talked about prior to our leaving. He tells me this is O.K. so off we go avoiding major roads as much as possible. However the map lied and we are heading to a road I’ve tried to avoid riding on for many years. Funny the way life works when you try to avoid riding on some road and then you find yourself on it anyway. Then you find out the road was not as bad as your head fanaticized it to be. Such it is with this road which turns out to have a very nice path along side it so you don’t actually have to ride on it.

I can think of a few times that I found the nice path rather than ride out in the middle of the road. But, there are times, due to lack of wisdom, I’ve chosen the harder ride down the road, rather than the easy one. It is my hope that those days are no more and some of this wisdom can be passed on. We’ll see! As we ride the hills become more packed together and steeper. Another dictum from Mark was “NO HILLS” So now he says “O.K.” So we ride down and then walk up the hills several times. We are heading for Lyndhurst where there is a campground I’ve stayed at before.

The new panniers I’ve spent $129 on flew off the bike because the hooks bent. My $120 saddle is not working and my butt is getting sore. Other than that all is well. Upon arriving we find a nice little café to have lunch and decide our next move. I leave to go to a store to pick up a pair of pliers to fix the new panniers. Upon my return Mark informs me that he has lost his phone. He wants to ride back to a place where he thinks it was dropped. Now I’ve been down this route before. I too once when in search of a lost phone which was never found. But, if he wants to go look we’ll go look.

Outside the café he says “You stay here and watch the stuff I’ll ride back.” I spy a bench across the street, but Mark is already somewhere else. I call to him as a bus is going by and I make a face at the noise the bus is making. The next thing Mark is screaming at the top of his lungs at me. Now I know that this is because he is upset about the lost phone. However, I don’t like people screaming at me so I walk across the street and say with a smile “I’ll wait here.”

About an hour later he returns no phone in hand. Arriving at the campground, which is really a farm, we are told that it is not open for the season yet. So we ride on to see what we can see. We find another campground, but you must have your own toilet to stay there. I offer up a green garbage bag but it is not acceptable. So Mark spies a path leading off into the wood which we follow until there is a spot that looks as good as any to camp in.

We make dinner, and then eat while being eaten alive by nasty little bugs, than it is time to turn in.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

I have a quick breakfast as the bugs are after us again. After a short ride we arrive at the town of Beaulieu which is a nice little tow with narrow streets, cottages, and sitting on the edge of a lake. Mark did not get to make breakfast so we hunt down a place to eat which is part of a nursery. Mark has a nice breakfast while I have coffee. Our next stop will be Brockenhurst where we’ll get a train to Portsmouth.

Upon reaching Brockenhurst we check out the local bike shop then head for the train station. We find out that the train for Portsmouth is on the next platform. So we have to unload the bikes drag everything including the bikes up one set of stairs and down another. We arrive in Portsmouth and Mark wants to keep going. So we head for the ferry and book our passage. It is 2 pm and we do not leave until 11 pm. We snagged a little lunch then work on the bikes at the ferry port. Met a fellow who tells me about how miserable it was to live in England especially with the new government. He tells me about his home in Spain and how it is going there with everything collapses. He has a well and stream along with several aches of fertile ground. That way he can grow his own food and make his own drink and believes he will do just fine. Guess he missed the special about folks from England buying land in Spain then having the government sell it right out from under them once it’s been improved. Hope is dream comes true. He scoffs when I tell him I’d love to find that in England.

We board the ferry at around 10 pm after waiting about ½ hour on the open wharf with the wind blowing at us. Upon boarding I find this ferry is far different from the one I took two years ago. It seems to be a smaller ship so there are new things to figure out. I had told Mark where to go, but there were no seats like I had on the last crossing. There is no Wi-Fi, nor are there electrical outlets for the computer. Mark wants to upgrade to a sleeping room which has a reclining seat then share it each sleeping half the night in it. I pass.

I blow up my sleeping mat, slid into my sleeping bag and out for the night. I awake in the morning about an hour from docking in Le Havre plenty of time for breakfast and get ready to disembark. We have breakfast and after docking we disembark and ride into Le Havre.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Le Havre to Villequier:

I tell him which way we are going and why and off we ride toward the campground in Villequier. This is not the same campground as the one two years ago. It is one that I saw the next day which was much nicer. We ride and I am able to retrace the route I used two years ago without the getting lost part. It is a pleasant ride through small villages, on fairly empty roads. The weather is cool, but the sun is bright with puffs of white and gray clouds in the sky. When the sun disappears behind a cloud it is pretty darn cool so the jacket comes off, the goes back on, then…

After about 20 miles we arrive at Villequier and finally find the campground I’d seen. It is very nice and the people who run it go out of their way to make sure our stay is pleasant. We set up our tents then head to the dining room for a very nice dinner. Not understanding the menu we ask the wife what some of the items are. She runs into the kitchen and brings out cans or frozen meat to show us what is on the menu. The meal is ordered along with drinks. Mark has a Coke, but I have something called and orangeina. I am hooked! Sadly we do not have this drink in the U. S. nor do I think they have it in the U. K., but I love this stuff.

Dinner is done and I glance to my right and see a small girl head in my direction. She walks up to puts her arm on my back and her head on my shoulder. I am amazed at the gesture and she picks up the place mat which has games on the other side which she points to. So we play the games and she giggles and laughs as we play. We then play tic tack toe which I let her win. She makes up a game we all play which Mark wins much to her dismay. Mark excuses himself as Orialmarie and I continue to play.

Mark comes back with a Grover puppet in hand and the little girls giggles with glee. The girl’s parents watch from behind the bar as we spend time together. She reminds me of my granddaughter Elizabeth and I begin to miss her and my family. and we ask if there is WiFi around. Low and behold the campground has WiFi for sale so we buy and happily tap away.

Cancer

I’m sitting in the Doctor’s office. After a blood test I’ve been called in to talk about the results. When you are waiting to get results you look for clues in any of the staff to see if it will be life or death. There is nothing in between your mind tells you. The Doctor’s assistant comes to the door to usher me in. She hugs me with a peck on the cheek; I’ve not seen her in a year. She has never greeted me like this before so the news cannot be good. We chant a bit about nothing as we walk toward the room I’ll wait for the Doctor in. It’s as if I’m walking the last mile with my confessor. I wait!

He enters, does not shake my hand, with his broad smile. He is about 6 foot, big boned, with a wide mouth, blue eyes and a full head of white hair. He fumbles with my chart which is getting rather thick. I’ve seen him for the past seven years for a test that has confirmed freedom from cancer during that time. My intuition tells me today will be different. He rambles a bit about past tests then gets down to business.

My PSA has continued to rise over the last year. The original was 9.2 which went to 9.7 and is now at 10.2 which equates to a 55 percent chance of having prostate cancer. He suggests we set up an appointment next week for a biopsy. He mentions that there is various treatments, but it is too early to discuss that now. After the biopsy comes back he’ll give me some options he says with a smile. His voice and smile meant to be reassuring, his lack of eye contact not so much. We walk out to the receptionist where his assistant awaits. After the appointment is made I receive a full hug from her and we talk about how busy I am.

Oh yes he has ordered a bone scan to make sure there is no cancer else ware. I’ll have the bone scan before we do the biopsy so both results will come in at the same time. Usually when I leave this office I’ve been given the results that no cancer has return and I’m chocked up with relief. Not today.

I spend time on the computer reading about this thing that is eating my cells. The articles do not do much to lessen the burden of this news. However, I want to be repaired with answers when I tell my kids. This is not something I’m looking forward to doing since their mother has be in and out of the hospital lately and is not enjoying good health. I’m going to be in Phoenix for a birthday and will tell them at some point.

I’ve told them and am heading home to Flagstaff. The sights along the route I’ve driven numerous times seem more intense. I’m taking notice of the scenery as if it were the first time I’ve looked at it. The ride seems to go by quickly and I think I’ll take myself to a movie. I need a movie to get me out of the world just for a little while. Upon arriving at the theater I enter and study the movie times. I’ve missed them all and do not feel like hanging around for the next show.

The days pass full of the same things that are usually done during that time. Arriving at the hospital for my bone scan is a break in the routine. Acting as if this is routine and nothing is wrong I sit at the check-in station. I find myself being short with the young girl behind the desk; she is new. She is nervous and tries not to show it so we joke a bit and get a grip on my attitude. The technician comes out and brings me in asking if I’ve had any reaction to the radiation shot given earlier. Since there has been no reaction we move on to the bone scan machine. The machine is much like a MRI with minor differences. We start the test and I can see my bones on the monitor overhead. Slowly the machine moves me through the imager and my inner structure is revealed.

At this point in time I have seen x-rays of my lungs and breasts, ultra sounds of my kidneys and heart, watched a camera look around the inside of my bladder, how it gets there is better left to the imagination, and now I see my own skeleton immerge a little at a time. There is something profound at looking inside your own body and seeing it working away. Especially when you actually see your heart pumping away send blood through you veins. To me it is seeing God’s design in action and knowing that every other human being looks almost exactly the same from this view. There is no color, race, creed or religion from this point of view. I’m done and the technician is not as talkative as when I entered. My head tells me this is a sure sign that she has found something very wrong.

I’m sitting in my Doctor’s office. Today we will do the biopsy something my head tells me not to do. Some of the articles say that a biopsy can exacerbate the cancer. My Doctor tells me that he has not experienced that. The Doctor’s assistant ushers me in to the inner sanctum with a hug and kiss. It seems as if we have been dating on and off for seven years now. We enter the room for the test and instructions are given. This woman is the only one who has seen my private parts in the last seven years. I think I have to get out more.

After the test and another hug I leave the office to wait for the results. My mind is having a hay day of none productive thoughts. The best is to keep busy and not let these thoughts become part of my daily thinking. Again it is time to seek refuge in my daily routine to keep me from becoming depressed and full of self-pity. I tell my cousin who begins to find Doctor’s and treatments for my aliment. I’m blessed with people who care and want to be helpful. It is not the time for that yet, it is time for me to be still and believe that God has this all under control. It is not the first time I’ve been here nor will it be the last of this I am sure.

I’m sitting in the Doctor’s office. The Doctor’s assistant comes to the door to usher me in again with a hug and kiss. Maybe we should be living together by now? Sitting in the office I stare at a poster of limp penis cut down the middle. My mind tells me that what I’ll soon look like. Shut the fuck up! Enter the Doctor and my thicker chart which he comments on like it’s my fault he has to carry such a heavy thing around. He begins and so does my mind.

The biopsy is positive for cancer 25 percent in one side, 5 percent in the other. There goes your sex life, well if you had one. The Bone scan was negative, showed a little arthritis here and there. Thank God! As he goes through the options one by one showing me a picture book. Well I can go to England before I decide on any treatment. Maybe I’ll get treatment in Europe. Let’s see 10 to 15 years that no put me well into the seventies. Maybe I cannot do anything until I’m seventy then get treatment? The Doctor is still talking about stuff I’m listening but not my head. I want to get out of this office and live what life I have left. He suggests that I talk to a radiologist and a surgeon, but not decision needs to be made quickly. Leaving the office, after my hug, I smiling that I don’t have bone cancer. That’s all that matters. I can ride my bike through Europe without wondering what will happen if I fall.

I have prostate cancer and I can live with that. I will live with that and will not let my mind let is stop me from doing and living. Then next thing I’ll be doing is buying my ticket to England where my bike will be waiting for me to ride yet again. And ride I will long and hard for the better part of two months.

England 2010: Part One: Here we go again!

Sunday, April 11, 2010


Preparing for my fifth trip to England! Having hoped to be able to do this once, I never imagined doing it five years in a row. It has been a very trying year filled with frustration, new challenges and health issues. New equipment has been purchased to supplement the old tried and true. The big question, again this year, will my bike still be there? One can only hope that for the fifth year my bike will have survived the winter and vandals. My bag this year consists of a new pair of panniers that will hold everything and stay under 50 lbs. At this point they weigh in at 41 lbs and need to be unpacked and packed again to make sure everything is inside. The last item that will be needed is a new Deuter backpack which I’ll purchase with my REI dividend and 20% off coupon.

This will allow me to carry on some of my stuff thus reducing the weight in the panniers. It may allow me some extra room to bring my Hobson bike seat. As tax season comes to an end the want to be riding my bike increases. My friend Mark will be coming over again this year for a three week stint. Tickets have been purchased costing more than any previous trip. Finding a ticket for under $800 was not to be this year. We will be flying a combination of Delta and KLM going through Detroit and for the first time landing in Heathrow. I’m thinking about taking the National bus to Salisbury as I’ve not done that in a few years and it costs less money. Money could be an issue this year, but I’ll not know that until the end of April.

Somewhere on one of my computers is an equipment list that I had intended to post this year. So I’ll have to have to head home and see if it can be found. I also just realized that I have not finished my posts from last year, especially the most exciting part. So maybe I’ll work on that tonight also.

Cottonwood, AZ

Monday, October 05, 2009

Cottonwood, AZ

Imbibing in a herbal tea and Cinn-a-bun in Old Town Cottonwood at The Orion Bread Co. I decided to stop in Cottonwood to scout out a campground for the pending Guy Camping Trip. This consists of my Son and his sons, my son-in-law and his sons, and me. Once a year we get together for a fun camping trip some place in AZ. This year the winner could be Cottonwood’s Dead Horse Campground. Happily there are really no a dead horse’s however there is the Verdi River.

Oh! Back to the Bread Company and the Cinn-a-bun which is quite good. I like thick doughy bread which this is but, not overly sweet, lots of raisins = very filling. This place even looks like a bakery! Lots of pounding of dough in the background, Flower bags lying around, even a bread cutting machine to slice the fresh baked bread. Smells of yeast, dough and baking bread waft through the air. Very restful and relaxing to set here looking out at a fairly empty street.

After Cottonwood I’ll that 89A up through Sedona to get back to Flagstaff. It is time for some mundane things such as oil change and car wash. That about as far as today is thought out. There were some other things but, they do not come to mind. No racking my brain for them for now maybe they will resurface later in the day. There are very primitive painting’s hanging on the wall that can be purchased. However, it would surprise me that anyone would pay $250 for something that looks like it was painted in kindergarten.

My bun is done, tea gone cold as I type time to find the campground then head down or rather in this case up the road. See you on the other side.

Picken In the Pines

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Flagstaff: Fort Tuthill Amphitheater

4th Annual Picken in the Pines Festival

Sitting in a booth as a volunteer for St Mary’s food bank having no clue what to do. How did I come to be here you may ask? Maria, the food bank volunteer coordinator announced at the Chamber of Commerce Ambassadors meeting that she needed people to help at the festival booth. Since I was sitting next to her at the meeting and there were no other takers the rest is history as they say. Arriving promptly at 9:30am as told I find the canopy at half mast not other volunteers seem to be present.

After raising the canopy the booth is now open for business. There is a five gallon water jug, with tickets in it, hiding behind the table. After placing in on the table two people walk up and want to enter the drawing. O.K. here are the raffle tickets how many do you want to fill out. “We’ll take the two for $5.00” says he. Oh! There is a charge for the tickets? Yep there it is on the front of the jug. So he hands me a $10.00 bill which requires change which by dumb luck I happen to have. After writing for about an hour Maria arrives and the day gets better. After a bit her boss Eric arrives and we have a nice chat.

The music has been going on for about an hour people have been filing in filling the area by the stage that has a cover over it. Along with the people clouds have begun to float by becoming thicker and grayer. The sun keeps us warm until it is swallowed by the clouds turning it cooler. We have coffee to keep our hands warm, tap our feet to the music to keep them warm. During a walk about the grounds a fellow says to me “Think It’s going to rain?” “Seems like it’s trying real hard to do that” is my answer. He laughs then a few steps later a few drops fall followed by big drops, the hail, big hail, lots of hail.

I arrive back at the booth the dark green grass now covered with white hail. Water runs off the building around us causing puddles to form with floating hail in them. Most of the crowed has attempted to get under the covered part of the stage area. Others seek out shelter under vender canopies like ours. As the thunder rolls through the trees along with lighting strikes we can hardly hear the music. The announcer has to remind some spectators not to stand under the trees. The musicians play on as the rain lets up but, the clouds take a long time releasing the sun.

The sun returns along with its warmth. Sitting in the sun I watch people attempt to avoid walking in the puddles. It seems funny to me that sometime today they may have stood in a shower not avoiding the water at all. Now it seems to some to be avoided at any cost as if it contains some hidden danger. Some however just splash through it some seems to actually enjoy getting their feet wet especially the children. Ooops I fell in the puddle Mom really I did with a sly grin on their face. I watch Marie with a group out on the lawn playing Hakie-Sackie as she sways to the music. All is good until the sun again closes over the sun with what seems like no intention to release it again today.

Having ridden my bike here it seems a good time to head for home as the distant thunder begins to rumble. I’m thankful for my GoLite rain jacket and oil sealed hat which have kept me dry and somewhat warm. As the rain begins to fall again I’m safe inside my house. Tomorrow I’ll ride again to the fair grounds for the third day of the festival hoping that the sun, music and friendship will be warm.

Sunday, September 19, 2009

Flagstaff: County Fair Grounds

Arrived before everyone else and set up the booth and immediately began selling raffle tickets. The sun is out the sky is blue with a few drifting white clouds. There is a small crowed when the first group takes the stage. They sing several hymns which are appropriate for a Sunday morning. The bands begin to play the crowed begins to flow in. Several young women appear each carrying about 10 Hula Hoops of assorted colors and sizes. Shortly after the grass hill in from of the booth is filled with children of all ages attempting to swing the things on their hips.

There is much laughter and when the young children can’t get them to swirl around their hips they chase after them as they roll down the hill. I see an friend from long ago and wave. Deanna is a wonderfully sweet person who seems to be immune to aging. She still has the same brilliant smile youthful face as when I worked with her twelve years ago. There are several people here today that I have interacted with during my time here in Flagstaff. We wave or chat depending on the moment.

Eric the head of the food back arrives with the “bank” so I can make change then is off on errands. He tells me there are tags in the “bank” for volunteers who have not shown. If there is someone I can call they can get in for free. I call a few friends but they are not home or involved in home projects. More tickets are sold more bands play, people sway and tap their feet to the music. It is warm the sun is bright causing many people to come to North Country’s First Aid booth for suntan lotion. Several little ones are brought in with swollen, angry red bee bites.

The day goes by softly it is great to do something quite different from the usual and allow relaxation to over take me. Lunch is a cold draft with a braut with all the fixings in the shade. I’m almost lulled to sleep by the casual surroundings. Time come for me to head home because the dark clouds are filling the sky. The sun has been swallowed again giving way to a cool breeze which sends most of the crowed heading to their cars. It has been a soothing weekend I’ve made new friends, done something for the community and gotten a little exercise. This is a good thing!

England 2009 - Part X

Wednesday, May 17, 2009

Salisbury

Awoke to rain, dark skies, scratchy throat, and runny nose so went back to sleep. Slept until 10am then got up had breakfast, took a shower then went back to sleep. Finally roused myself around noon to get dressed and ride into town. It looked as if the clouds were going to break up so after purchasing some bread and lunch meat when to have a relaxing lunch with the ducks. I shared my lunch with some baby ducks, and one brave Drake who eat out of my hand. It began to tinkle so PUB Time I thought and headed in that direction. I proceeded to spend the rest of the day in the Pub drinking tea with lemon and talking to people online.

Several asked where I was riding to which I answered “Nowhere.” Then felt guilty as if I were letting everyone down by not doing some adventuresome, aqueous ride on dangerous roads or wet narrow paths. Just writing about doing nothing but everyday stuff was not why they read the blog, was it? Would they not be wondering why my Blog reported the mundane? My thoughts have been wondering why also. Reviewing the reasons for my initially wanting to come to England and ride brings to the fact that they had all been accomplished. Well, all except the trip to Austria and this will be coming up shortly.

The first year was the search for the Arthurian Way so to speak, next was to find Merlyn and then the air field my Dad flew out of during the war, then to attempt to get to Austria by bike riding through part of France, and now this year touching the places my family started. All goals will have been met then what? No more rides, no more Europe, no more? This year, thanks to my new bosses, money has no plagued me as an issue. So far more has been spent this trip then any of the previous three, and probably more than the first two trips combined. What is the reason for coming back again next year?

Mark stated “You push yourself to hard. I don’t know understand why you do that.” After thinking about that the reason seemed to be answered by one word “Passion.” Now this surprised me as I have always wondered what I had a passion for if anything. So now I have a passion for riding longer and longer, further and further, and harder and harder. The exhilaration I have experienced when seeing a goal come in to sight after hours of hard riding while your brain is telling you “you are not going to make it” is hard to explain. Then get up, do it again, begin to build endurance and each time it has given me back part of myself that I lost, or had not know was there. In riding there is just me, the bike and the world. My struggle is with me to do more than before and keep doing more. The only way to find out how far you can go is to attempt to go there. Never once considered this to be passion until the question was asked. I guess I need to rethink my idea of what passion is?

I’ve had people tell me I’m passionate about things confuses me because I don’t see my idea of what is passion in myself. For many years I thought that my passion was to be the champion of those I perceived as the underdog, or to right some things I believed to be wrong. I was fooled in to believing that appreciation for my actions would follow, it did not. I found myself standing on the hill fort, which is claimed to be Camelot, looking down as I allowed my imagination see the fields full of those who were once thought to be friends. And, clearly understood what it must have felt like for Arthur’s dream to be destroyed by the jealous who wanted to take over. Arthur knew he would not rule this forever nor did he want to. He wanted to set something in place for those he cared about then let them run it. The interesting thing about this is that my goal has always been that once achieved I too wanted them to take over. But, for some that was not acceptable as what I had put together was acceptable to them, it had to be torn down, me along with it, in order for it to be constructed in their perceived better way.

People who I thought were friends turned into betrayers. In family therapy there is the Triangle which is made up of the Savior, Persecutor, and the Victim. These roles are traded from time to time and anyone who attempts to help the victim can become yet another triangle attached to the first. I have taught this over and over, yet find myself succumbing to its siren song time and time again. The savior turns into the Persecutor of the Persecutor which turns the Persecutor into the Victim and the Victim turns into the Savior. This is seen time and time again when Police answer domestic violence calls. The Police (Savior) quickly become the Persecutor, allowing the Persecutor to become the Victim, and the Victim(s) become the Savior turning on the police. A therapist not paying attention can find themselves pulled into this game very quickly. However, when the word “friend” is used CYA is not necessary right?

That’s what Arthur thought, but it was his “friends” who destroyed him along with what he had built so they could show how much better they were then he. They succeeded because he trusted his “friends” and was left empty when he found he could not. I believe I could trust people who reported themselves to be friends and found out over time they were not. Yet I will try again with the hope that this time there will be a real friend who will stay at my side much like Mark and Gary.